Every wife has obligations to God and her husband, but I would especially like to address those that are particular for those of us whose husbands are preachers. What does God expect of me for my preacher-husband’s sake?
- I should love my husband—like every other wife. But for a preacher’s wife this involves support. My husband needs to know I will love him no matter what the brethren think of him. If he gets fired, I will still be by his side. “I didn’t sign up for this” will never come out of my mouth! He needs to know how much I admire him and his choice to preach the gospel.
- I should conduct myself with discretion. This means I will use sound judgment. I will exhibit self-control. My husband should not have to worry about how I will react or what I will say. I must determine to be an asset, not a liability, to him. I should determine to never behave in such a way that it comes back to hurt him.
- I should show my submission. Preacher’s wives are often put in positions of leadership as they serve in a congregation. I need to honor my husband and his wishes. I need to honor the elders and their wishes. I do not “run” anything! I serve.
- I should be understanding about my husband and his work for the Lord. I need to recognize when he is under pressure. I need to empathize when he has too much on his plate. Many times, a preacher’s wife is the only one he has to talk to about problems or concerns in the church. Be his sounding board. Be understanding when it comes to his time. If he is a wise man, he will make time for his family, but there will be those unexpected times that you must be patient and wait, such as meetings after worship, counseling sessions, elders meetings, etc.
- I should be forgiving. My husband preaches a perfect message but he is not a perfect man. He is preaching to himself as well as to me. I should not hold him to a higher standard than I hold myself. He needs to grow, just like I do, and that may include forgiving him. Remember that love covers a multitude of sins!
- I should be on the same page with my husband when it comes to our children. Of course, God holds him responsible first for bringing up his kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; he’s the spiritual head of his house. But as their mother I am to do my job too. My husband should not have to worry about his children while he is in the pulpit. He knows I will handle them. Anytime he is not around, he can depend on me to make sure the godly conduct of our home is carried out.
- I should keep our home orderly. My husband will often have Bible studies in our living room. We will host many fellowships in our home. We will have unexpected guests. I want my husband to be proud to bring people there, not ashamed of my lack of care.
Our work as preacher’s wives should not be underestimated. God help us to be the helpmeet our preacher-husbands need as they take on the all-important task of preaching the gospel to the world!
-Debbie Kea, Griffin, GA